Today is Mother’s Day. I love my mother. This is the day that we honor her, but I think the day that is most sinificant for her is my oldest sister’s birthday. December 18th. I know that on the day of my first son’s birth I am very reflective about motherhood. I feel overwhelmed by this gift and this responsibility.
I watch my mother’s eye and I can see the depth of her experience. I know I have hurt her. Â I have been cruel, I have done disappointing things. But, I also know that I have made her laugh, I have made her proud and I think she can now genuinely trust me and loves me as a person. I also know that there is this parallel vision of me as a tiny child. She sees that little girl she held and wanted to protect.
My sisters and I are all very different people. I have listened as my mother has commented on how different we each were. I think her bond with my oldest sister is very different. She and Chrissy were together, mother and daughter for 3 years. Then she had Debbie, with her curly hair and sweet cherubic face. Four years passed until I was born. I came amidst a big transition. My mother was very ill while she was pregnant with me, the doctors terrified my parents by preparing them for a child with deformities or worse. She had to pack up a house and move from Pennsylvania to Florida while pregnant and having two small children. I think she even fell off the kitchen counter and broke her ankle during all of this. But….as is my mother’s way…..she soldiered on.
I did not understand my mother for many years. I judged her. Time, and becoming a mother on my own, has helped me understand the difficulties of motherhood….and the great joy. I love my mother very much. I am grateful for all of her sacrifices. I know she truly, deeply and completly loves me. And….for this…..I am truly Blessed.
This picture was taken in my mom’s new neighborhood. The construction crews opened up a vein of geodes. She, my 2 sons and I climbed around in the crevasse finding all kinds of gems and crystals. My mother loves rocks.