Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day. I love my mother. This is the day that we honor her, but I think the day that is most sinificant for her is my oldest sister’s birthday. December 18th. I know that on the day of my first son’s birth I am very reflective about motherhood. I feel overwhelmed by this gift and this responsibility.

I watch my mother’s eye and I can see the depth of her experience. I know I have hurt her.  I have been cruel, I have done disappointing things. But, I also know that I have made her laugh, I have made her proud and I think she can now genuinely trust me and loves me as a person. I also know that there is this parallel vision of me as a tiny child. She sees that little girl she held and wanted to protect.

My sisters and I are all very different people. I have listened as my mother has commented on how different we each were. I think her bond with my oldest sister is very different. She and Chrissy were together, mother and daughter for 3 years. Then she had Debbie, with her curly hair and sweet cherubic face. Four years passed until I was born. I came amidst a big transition. My mother was very ill while she was pregnant with me, the doctors terrified my parents by preparing them for a child with deformities or worse. She had to pack up a house and move from Pennsylvania to Florida while pregnant and having two small children. I think she even fell off the kitchen counter and broke her ankle during all of this. But….as is my mother’s way…..she soldiered on.

I did not understand my mother for many years. I judged her. Time, and becoming a mother on my own, has helped me understand the difficulties of motherhood….and the great joy. I love my mother very much. I am grateful for all of her sacrifices. I know she truly, deeply and completly loves me. And….for this…..I am truly Blessed.

 Rock Hunting.jpg

This picture was taken in my mom’s new neighborhood. The construction crews opened up a vein of geodes. She, my 2 sons and I climbed around in the crevasse finding all kinds of gems and crystals. My mother loves rocks.

 

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One thought on “Mother’s Day”

  1. Dearest baby child…..each of your birthdays was just as important as the others…..yours, being the 3rd, was no less important than the 2nd or 1st….each was a glorious blessing from God and a total committment on the part of your mother to love and nurture you all as completely as I could…. I hope that I succeeded…if not, I am sorry.
    My 3 wonderful girls are my greatest achievements – I did my best with the knowledge I had….and dearly hope that it met a standard that is acceptable to all 3 of you. I love you all dearly, and am so proud to be your mother….never forget that.

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