Walking and Sitting

Motivation requires a vision. To know where one is going and why. Why do this thing? Why keep pushing? Are you pushing towards something or trying to get away? Is the momentum generated by a desire to flee someplace or someone? To get out, you might do anything. When idealistic, we are driven to grasp at those things we desire: love, achievement, accolades even possession. As a kid, I’d hustle on chores to earn a quarter. The quarters would turn into dollars and dollars would get me That Thing I craved. Then I hustled to study, get good grades, get the scholarships, the degree, the title. Then, adulthood makes us hustle for the mortgage, the babies, the perfect mother, the perfect wife. We buy into that trap. And sometimes we are hustling for our financial stability, our sanity, our health…our lives.

We face those moments, forced to pause and catch our breathe, when we think….why? Why am I doing this? Why am I working this hard at this thing and for what reward? And it can be hard to see an answer. Often, the answer is beyond view because we are still buried under debt, under crisis, under obligations….those things that obstruct our view and our vision.

So, you hitch up and push forward to clear the path. Clear the debt, clear the heart, clear away the bitterness and distrust so that we can see again, so that we can LIVE again. To live a real life, a truthful life, is to be present in the moment. Christ asked the select few to sit and wait for him, to be present. When he came back, those He had asked to sit, slept. They slept instead of being present with the Lord. In our culture of DOING, if Jesus asked his followers to sit with him while he walked in the garden, we’d be multi-tasking, making lists, farting around on our smart phones. And we’d be just as absent, just as vacant.

Be present. Be alive. Hold space for the Lord. For from that vigilance comes great gifts. All that hustling, all that doing, all that productivity might (nay, definitely) separates us from the Truth and from our true selves – from the beautiful, whole, full, complete creations of our intention. All the worry, the fretting, the planning, the preparation, robs us from being within the moment of time where all is All.

Yes, of course – plan. The modern world enslaves us to the rigors of routines and obligations. But Christ was never one to carry a day-planner. He didn’t share his Google calendar with the Thirteen. His ministry was organic. He had a mission, a goal…but maybe not a plan, not a plan in allotted 15 minutes time blocks.

And I know God has His plan for me. I heard His call a couple of decades ago. I know in my heart the talents and treasures He has bestowed. And now, as I clear away the obstructions, the encrustations that stiffen my heart and my mind (and my body), I must allow Wisdom to guide me. I have gained Understanding. I seek Counsel. I ask for help from others whom offer grace and kindness. I have cultivated Fortitude of mind and spirit to face the challenges. I’ve weathered so much to get to this place. And there is no doubt I am smart, knowledge is a lifelong blessing. The final steps are to TRUST, to revere and honor the path set before me. And….to be still and wait for Him.

This might be my life, but I want to live this life in a way that gets me to that next Place. That Better Place. And the more I seek to live this life in preparation for that place, the kinder I am, the more loving, the more generous, the more sacrificial, the more welcoming….the easier the path becomes, for then, I am not walking alone anymore.