Recently someone commented that I might have a difficult time finding my Prince Charming because part of what Prince Charming hopes to do is to find his Princess and take her back to his castle. The comment referenced the fact that I already have my castle….and I built it myself. Somehow this makes me unattractive and a less viable option for Princes seeking Princesses. Anyone who knows me knows that these kinds of comments rattle around in my head and I dissect them, nay pulverize them until they are barely recognizable. Initially, my gut reaction…and it was a truly visceral reaction…was to ‘hear’ that having this house meant I’d forever be alone. While I knew that being audacious and tenacious enough to forge ahead with making a life long dream a tangible reality shifted my approachability, I never framed it as a life sentence of solitary confinement. I then had a few counter punch responses and with time, as the newness of the house and the spectacle of building it during a recession and post-marriage wears off, these responses will be more relevant. No other adult has occupied this house but me. I didn’t get it with inheritance or from a settlement. The house wasn’t built with an imaginary partner. There is only one sink basin in the master bathroom, much to the consternation of my banker. He was concerned about the resale value of the home. I was concerned about the morning mocking emanating from that dry sink and let’s be clear….I am never reselling this house. But, I did design it with the capacity to include and open to another person. I figure that if I like him enough to have him in this house, I will be fine with sharing my sink with him. The single ‘master’ closet is sincerely large enough for two. There are empty drawers in the dresser of my new bedroom furniture. There will be two nightstands. There is a two car garage. And there is enough time, space, empty yard and empty wall space to include, welcome and create a life with another person.
My much delayed response that I have arrived at is that if what Prince Charming concerns himself with is impressing me with his castle (and what he can give or do for me) when all I care about is if he loves me, I love him and if we mutually rock each others’ worlds….then he is not the Prince Charming for me. He should go look for someone younger and dumber. I can give and do pretty much for myself. I have for my whole adult life. I took care of things and will keep taking care of things. What I want is a place to curl up and feel safe…a beautiful place with an absolutely dynamite kitchen and a beauty so sublime it defies conveyance. It is good to simply sit on the porch and watch the bees and the birds and listen to the wind in the tall pines. And if he comes looking, this is where Prince Charming will find me….in my castle.