These are my fast facts for Wednesday:

• It will be a cold day in Hell when I give up coffee. Seriously and fortunately, I live in Florida and it isn’t likely to happen. And that cup-o-joe iss made with Florida Crystals turbinado sugar and a plop of Half&Half. How can people pollute a perfectly divine cup-o-joe with fake sweetener and artificial Creamora? <shudders>
• I need to find a new book to read, something engrossing and completely immersive. The last two books I BOUGHT and read came highly recommended by NPR interviews but were….frankly…disappointing. The Night Circus, which is poised to win a bunch of awards and accolades and The Sherlockian……which wasn’t much of a mystery. I don’t know…not enough gratuitous sex or plot twists.
• I have an appointment today to get my hair cut. Yeah. It’s quite overdue.
• I think Congress needs to get spanked and fired. Do they really think the general American citizen thinks they are doing the job for which we have sent them to Washington? Cut spending, raise taxes, get off your asses and get OUR house in order. They need to be reminded….they serve at the pleasure of the American CITIZEN. And if they weren’t sure….we ain’t too happy out here.
• I hate reality TV. Dancing, singing, Surviving, racing, eating, “diva drams”, storage wars, comedy, talent-no talent, cooking. It’s all CRAP! Turn the TV off!
• My feet hurt today. They should be renamed “blocks of wood”.
• I am in a bitchy, ornery, snarky mood and my mouth has been in motion as of late. I really need to get a bit of gate control on my wicked tongue.
• I learned (realize) that a classic and traditional school fundraiser for my son’s catholic school is on a FRIDAY from 2pm to 8pm. (Here comes the snarky, bitchy part). Friday! Friday at 2pm. Hello!!!! Working mother! Working father! Work day! Weekday! This is a fundraiser and FAMILY function that has always and forever been on a SATURDAY. There was a fun run in the morning, a book sale, a bake sale, a carnival and a full day 7 am to 7pm of exhausting MEMORY making family fun! Now…..my kid can’t even attend if I am not there. He will be relegated to after school care while the carnival proceeds. Who….FFFS came up with this arrangement and why? Oh, yeah. Gator football! I am ticked off. Offended and frankly have the ultimate proof that this catholic school doesn’t really have compassion for their students’ families.
• I think I will end up in time out today for my sassy mouth, my potty mouth or my loud mouth. Can I have 1 minute for every years I am old? Yippee 45 minutes of complete and absolute silence! I will take my lumps and go quietly, officer. I promise.