There are these moments in life when you pause. There are things you want to do very badly but there is that momentary hesitation just before you step forward. Imagine standing in the wings, just off stage, waiting to go out and perform at a recital. Imagine the hunched over swimmer waiting for the signal to dive into the pool for a relay. There is that anxious waiting at the back of a church, listening for the bridal march. The brief delay before you set the 15-blade scalpel down on a sterile surgical field and cut someone’s belly open, watching the thin red line appear as you trace.You want to win the 400IM relay; you’ve trained a long time. You want to win the competition because of all the days you stayed indoors practicing while everyone else was outside playing. You have wanted to be a doctor…a surgeon…for a long time. But then, someone puts the blade in you hand and says, do it!
And we pause.
This is not doubt. We are sure of our abilities. It is sometimes a shade of fear, caution. We want to get it right. We want it to be perfect. I think the pause is sometimes a very private moment of silence, a reverent pause before action.
But sometimes we choke. And some stage hand has to shove us out on stage. Sometimes we get barked at to MOVE IT!
And now I have this momentary hesitation. The longer I stand here waiting, wanting to get it right, for it to be perfect, the longer I turn over and over in my head all the combination of possibilities, the more I can feel myself choking. And who is there to pat the back of my hand? The father calms the bride and eases her down the aisle. The mother soothes the performer and gets her out on stage. The peer elbows you hard in the ribs and gives you lip and promises to mock you if you don’t man up!
So stop dilly dallying and MOVE. Do what you have trained and prepared for. Have faith you are no dummy. You have skills and resources. And you have a true and honest goal. This is no four leafed clover wish. We are not tossing pennies in the ocean as offering. No one is making novenas or lighting candles. This is sheer, unadulterated PUSH.
It’s time to buy a shovel and start the digging.
