Energy follows thought. It is a motto I live by or at least try to live by. I know that if I am afraid and let my mind dwell in that fear, fear takes up residence. If I am bitter and give the bitterness an audience, it gets comfortable. I do not want to think darkly. I do not want to be morbid or pessimistic or cynical. There is a reason the seven deadly sins include wrath and envy along with lust, gluttony, greed, sloth and pride. Anger and jealousy can destroy a soul.
When a soul is already fragile or wounded, it is unwise to feed wrath or coddle envy. These are dangerous beasts to attempt to train. They cannot be domesticated. You can try but anticipate they will go beserck and maul the postman. What kind of excuse could you have when asked why you tried to keep such a creature chained in your backyard? Any sane person would know it was only a matter of time before they got off their chains.
I have been asked by a friend and co-worker when the “Dark Side” of Realisa is gonna come out. I hope never. It is sad to admit that there is a Dark Side. The whole experiment of Realisa was to cultivate hope and beauty and love of the world as I see it. Even the grotesque can have a morbid elegance and I want to turn the perspective around and find the silver lining.
But, she forced me to admit that I harbor and must resist the darker emotions. I do not want to be angry. I do not want to judge or criticize. I do not want to be judgemental. I do not want to wish ill-will upon others. I must resist the primitive urges and aspire to better, kinder, more loving, more forgiving tendencies.
Or I need bigger collars, steel-reinforced chains anchored to slabs of concrete and Kevlar clothes to protect me from my “pets”.
I never said Darklisa would be a kiddie ride at the amusement park! I merely suggested that it might be cathartic. I mean…we all love sweet candy but eat to much and you wanna puke. Actually living on Elm Street in Nightmare on Elm Street would be horrible, but at the end of a really good scray movie or a haunted house you’ve screamed your way thru, nearly the first thing everyone says is…that was wicked fun! let’s go again!! LOL I love you…just be yourself. Amazing.
I hear you, but “stuffing” your feelings can be extremely harmful… especially anger – just ask me.
However, I admire your diligence, but sometimes, a little “letting go” is good.