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One thing off the to do list

I am a list maker. I make lists on note pads, on my PC, on my phone. I have shorts lists for a day’s tasks. I have long ranged lists aimed at points in the middle and distant future. Maybe these are better labeled goals, but lists demystifies things. A list is easy to tackle. Goals are onerous tasks that require preparation and planning and focused attention. As if I do anything in this life unfocused and inattentively. I am the laser beam, hyperfocus queen. I vacuum up detail from my surroundings like a satellite array listening to deep space. If anything, I have to tune out all the noise and thus…The Lists. The lists get the chitter chatter out of my head. A list externalizes and deposits the clanging and demanding noise that is the ever present Tyranny of the Urgent. Do THIS NOW! Do it yesterday. Get it done and in my mind….get it done perfectly. And when I say perfectly I don’t mean on par with Martha Stewart but I am attentive and applied in my effort. I always do my best. When I know I haven’t tried my hardest, when I have behaved indifferently towards something for which I am responsible, I find that unacceptable.

The lesson in life hasn’t been to learn to be imperfect. I KNOW I am imperfect. I simply want to always apply a Mary Lou Retton effort. The lesson has been to learn what really matters to me and to reserve my focus for those things. It means applying myself to my goals, my dreams, my desires and not displacing myself for other people’s goals. It doesn’t make me insensitive. We each have our own list, our own goals and its important for us to apply ourselves to OUR list because when we accomplish a task on our To Do list…it feels good. It feels amazing.

Some of the other things I have accomplished on my To Do List: I planted pear trees, a peach tree, two figs, I have a blackberry patch and seven blueberry bushes. One of those long range goals on my long range To Do List was to grow my own food. I will have pears and peaches in two summers and pecans in three years.

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