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Connected

How is it that I can be connected to another person, yet feel disconnected? How is it that I know I am tethered to another, yet they feel distant? There are people in my life to whom I  belong, people that are a part of me, that feel like strangers. I have the distant recollection of some people, I have memories of a time when their presence was rich and full, but they are now faded. How is it that someone to whom I am bound can seem so very far away?

If I am linked to another person, the reason is because our connection serves something. If I am intertwined with another, isn’t it because together we are stronger than each of us alone? What happens when half of that clasp fails. What happens when one side of that link weakens? I do not think the stronger half can do anything to repair the broken side, except wait and hope and pray.

I actually have very few sturdy connections in my life. I think I should have more, but when I start testing the strength of some of these links, I discover they are unsure, unsteady or unsafe. Maybe that is due to neglect on my part. Maybe I am the weak link, the rusty side, the frayed end.

If it is me, I wish to repair myself. I want to be a better person, someone with whom others in my life can be confident.  I have a desire to feel more connected. I cannot be assured that the other side feels the same way. And those connects may be lost forever.

Can a person survive with no connections? Can a person thrive with only one or two? Isn’t life made abundant by our interconnection, our intimacy and ultimately love?

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