Benchmarks, touchstones, watermarks, anniversaries, birthdays, new years. Call it what you will, we mark time. We make resolutions. If we are good at keeping our resolutions, then it is a habit we endorse approaching it with import and reverence. If we make-and-break resolutions, anemically list out the goals and aspirations and then feebly attend to the duties and tasks required to accomplish then, then no wonder we fail.
I am not one to accept failures. And I have an abundance of goals attained, tasks accomplished, dreams made reality to attest to my tenacity and flat-out gumption.
This evidence should give me strength, affirming my foundational elements and yet, I fumble and falter. I doubt myself. I doubt my strength, my ability, my veracity. But the retrospective viewpoint dissolves those doubts. Like instant tea powder in a glass of cold water, my doubts about being able to do X, Y and Z disperse. If I want something, if it is a task to master or accomplish, I am rarely going to fail. If it is something within my purview, I can do it. I got this.
So, what is it that I wish to GET this year? I turned 50 in August. The day after my last blog post. That is a literary allegory, right? Where did my voice go? Well, maybe I needed to be quiet for a bit, recalculate my bearing and headings before moving on. Inventory and stock taking, right? I went to Paris. I climbed the Eiffel tower (well, I road the elevator to the top). But I did climb to the top of the Arch D’ Triomphe. The arch of triumph. One step at a time. Up and down. It is metaphor for all I do: one step at a time, painstaking and slow but I get it done. It isn’t elegant or pretty to watch, but then again….I am not doing it for you or anyone else. I climb for myself, for my heart and soul.
And now, I set off on this new year. I have the general shades of goals I want. They are not clearly defined – yet. But, I have intention and desire. Here I go.