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Enough

I should write even if I feel like no one is listening. I read a blog post shared on a friend’s Facebook page and the blogger listed out the reasons to write. I fall away from writing for a multitude of reasons that boil down into

  1. not having enough time
  2. not having enough energy
  3. not feeling creative enough
  4. what I might write is not interesting (enough)

See the theme? Enough. That blogger asked…when you were a child to you play at your games and do your hobbies simply for the validation you would get from others?

No.

I climbed trees for the sheer thrill of getting higher. I set dried pine needles afire with my magnifying glass out of curiosity. I rode my bicycle all over The Ridge to beat the boredom – and maybe see the current boy I had a crush on (so on that small front I was hoping for a wee bit of validation). I PLAYED out of the sheer and pure love of playing.

But yes, slowly play became something else. I swam competitively against a clock to beat time.  Then I swam synchro, a judge sport, seeking the affirmation from a score. I danced and my peers gave me validation. Then, at the age of 14, I got a part-time job and I worked for a pay check. I have worked for a paycheck or studied for a test score all my life. I recall when I first entered practice, the anti-climax of practicing medicine was that no one gave me a grade. I suppose now with the advent of social media “grades” are back but they are far less related to my skill, effort and performance and are much more associated with the reviewers lexicon of expectations.

Either way, adulthood is leeched of play and chances to be creative that is free of the validation process. And that is what I miss. In recent months (years?) I have fallen away from my creativity. I am slow to sew or quilt. I let my gardens lapse. I have not been writing on any platform.

I must find a sliver of time everyday to be creative – to write. It will be good for my soul and the practice of giving daily thanks.  Affirmation of the many blessings in my life will be a positive act. And that was the whole intention of Realisa from the beginning. Time to refocus.

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