Lie down

I find myself walking in circles, wandering from room to room. I sit down and stare out the window; I lie back down in bed. I eat a bowl of cereal. I browse on Etsy. I run a load of laundry. I sit back down and rearrange the clutter on my desk into more neatly arranged clutter piles. I shred some junk. I lie back down in bed. I am unmotivated. I should make a list, try to complete some tasks or chores. I cooked the cranberry filling for cranberry breakfast rolls but haven’t made the dough so it can rise. I look across the room and think I should sort through that pile of magazines and catalogs or hunt for that old issue of Cooks Illustrated for the scalloped potato recipe. Or clean the fridge. Maybe take out the kitchen scraps to the compose. I sit down and watch the crows in the backyard fussing (probably at my cats).

I think I could lie down for a very long time and not move. Then I get up thinking I should do this or that but when I get to the other room, I think, “Why did I get up?” What really needs to happen today? I have a hair appointment at 3pm. Beyond that, what really needs to get completed? I finalized the turkey pick up on the phone and cinched 2 dozen eggs. I paid the bills and balanced my checkbook. So, why am I up at this computer when I could be laying down listening to the American flag hanging on the front of the house gentle flap in the breeze? The washing machine stopped running, I should put that stuff in the dryer before I lie back down. Maybe I should make more coffee. Maybe I should dress and head out to run those few errands: Ward’s to get local roasted coffee. Kitchen & Spice for a food scale. Lowe’s for a few bags of dirt and frost cloth. Maybe I should wash my car? Or drop the car off at Toyota service and get the water pump fixed. Then I could use the rental car Toyota provides to go pick up dirt.

Maybe I should lie down for a while and listen to the wind chimes and the birds eating on the feeders. Don’t I have a bolt of burlap to repair the underside of the sofas that the cats detached? Where are the extra staples for the electric staple gun? Do I want to make that mess in the living room? At least I haven’t cleaned the hardwood floors yet. Yes, let’s make that mess before I sweep and polish the floors. Or maybe I should just lie down on the sofa and watch the clouds roll by in the skylights? I have the new container of plumber’s putty to repair and reset the water fountain on the front porch. Then I could have that sound just outside my bedroom window: gurgling water.

Yes, I think the answer is to lie back down. I could download an audiobook and I could lie here and listen to the book. I could put the audiobook on my iPod and go about the yard and plant more monkey grass but that means I’d have to go to the nursery and buy more monkey grass. Let’s skip the audiobook. I could paint my nails and toes but if I am going to work in the yard and wear my work boots, I’ll just mess up the nails.

If I lie down and am quiet for a bit maybe I could get a more concise, less meandering, pinball machine list made. Or maybe I will just take a light nap.

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