With changes at the office, my schedule had to change. Whereas, in the past, I usually had two Fridays off a month, I now only have one. Wah! Life is SO rough, right? But, it takes an adjustment period especially when the Friday off in September was this past Friday and my October Friday is the last weekend. I have been quite spoiled for years having a three-quarter time schedule. It allowed me time to do chores, run errands, be a mother (and for many years a wife), keep a house and all those things non-working women manage for their households. Now, I readjust and fit it in the hours of 6pm and bedtime and also find the time for exercise in there. Maybe it is best I don’t have a romantic interest currently. It would feel very pressured and stressed to fit it all in. This week alone there are open houses at both boys schools, a football game, a doctor’s appointment, a board meeting, a lunch meeting with the accountant as obligations all wedged around the working day of rise at 6am and leave office at 6pm. I am so profoundly thankful I don’t do ER call or hospital rounds.
So, when I have time off, I never spend it vegging in front of the TV, mindless and absent. I have other interests and hobbies and so when I have time off, I do all those other things I love and enjoy. You can tell when I am dancing around depression…I stop doing things. I get still and numb. I stop caring and lose enthusiasm. I watch WWF wrestling and infomercials. I don’t quilt and I don’t paint my toenails and I stop curling my hair. It should send off red flares and Danger! Warning! signals when I am still and “lazy”. People say, “Wow! You do so much! Don’t you ever stop? When do you sleep? Where do you find the energy!” Trust me, when I slow down and take it easy people should worry! Me still is me apathetic and indifferent and that is a dark and scary place. My busyness and productivity is not an indication of running from something or a state of denial. I am not in a manic phase. I am loving life and letting my creativity and energy flow. I am encouraging myself to be wholehearted and to live fully. My work and job are not all that define me…not hardly, although I am confident that my creativity and enthusiasm for life is why I am good at my job and love my work. In addition to the garden rehabilitation project, I listen to a YA audio book for Mortal Instruments: City of Bones and sewed my next quilt top…which I am not sure is finished. I baked some amazing cranberry rolls and planted some monkey grass, in the long term project of bordering all the flower beds….eventually, one flat of monkey grass at a time.