The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. My friend Amy reminds me here. Many people would envy my just past three day weekend. I had Friday off. My sons were with their father. Three quiet, solitary days to get ‘my stuff‘ done. Except….my sons aren’t my companions, they are my charges, my children. We don’t ‘hang out’. They require my help with feeding and watering less and less. And since they are both too grown to carry to the bathroom for their tubbies, I must endure the boy funk until they offend their own olfactory senses.
So a three day weekend without conference or project or children is a rarity. And may I go on the record and emphatically declare them enemies of the state?
Friday, after patiently (and passively) waiting for final resolution of a problem, I received very bad news. It was not the worst possible news but absolutely and definitely not the final outcome anticipated. And the outcome is….well….not resolution. The outcome portends further discord and perpetuation of a very unpleasant situation. Will there be no end? So the dye was cast.
This was a very poor weekend to be running solo. It was also a very, very, very bad weekend for my Singer sewing machine to suffer sudden death. Seriously? So, with three of the four quilt panels completed, I am dead in the water. The temperatures climbed to 101F Friday only for the sky to unzipper Saturday and unload 3 inches of rain accompanied by high winds and perilously close lightening strikes. I even lost power for a bit. No need to head to the quilt store(often a favorite outing on a rainy day)….I CAN”T SEW. It’s like going to Uppercrust knowing you must eat Gluten free. Masochism.
One of my all time life preservers is cooking, especially cooking for other people. Except, I was in such a foul mood, I knew better than to contaminate anyone else with my black cloud. I did manage to bake a wonderful loaf of banana bread with fat chunks of walnuts.
Since I am not a binge eater 75% of the loaf remains. When I am alone on weekends, I rarely bother cooking. Saturday I ate goat cheese marinated in extra virgin olive oil, fresh crushed garlic and Herbs de Provence (LOTS of fresh garlic). I schmeared the cheese on thin slices of a roasted red paper-Swiss baguette from The Flour Pot. It was best I was alone Saturday night with dragon breath. I bought a small2x2in piece of Ahi tuna and seared it to eat with the goat cheese. I serve it with this ginger and this marinade as a dipping sauce. It makes a mouth all tingly and spicy. I skipped the alcohol. I hate drinking alone.
I then couldn’t stand my own company(because my mocking corpse of a sewing machine sat in the middle of my living room piled with all the fabric queued up for chain piecing)… so I MADE myself go to the movies. I, like my friend Amy, love going to the movies alone. I have gone to the movies solo for 20 years. So, I went and saw Jane Eyre. Excellent choice for my dark mood and general pessimism regarding love, honor and deception. I highly recommend it.
I was able to edit a fair amount on my book, but the story is laden with emotional claymores and underwater mines. You never quite anticipate the emotional reverb a scene written two years ago can trigger. I wouldn’t categorize it as cathartic. I’d call it flagellation. I had hoped Mass would remove the horse hair shirt but to no avail. So, Sunday I resorted to a Firefly marathon on Netflix. This is a series I missed and I foresee an obsessive viewing much in the vein of Battle Star Galactica. Unlike my Firefly acolyte friends…I think River is an annoying character. I’m just saying. I like the “This I believe” audio essay on Bob Edwards’s Weekend Sunday. Listen to it here.
Sunday dinner, I went rogue. I ate an entire quart of fresh, at-their-peak strawberries and then baked these cookies. I ate double portions.
I packed the rest in my lunch for work. I might share. Idle time handicapped without my usual and effective distractions makes Lisa a grumpy girl…makes Lisa say aloud…”God, I’ll be glad to go back to work.”