The day after the end of the world

According to the evangelist minster, Harold Camping, the end of the world should have occurred yesterday May 21, 2011 at 6:00pm. Since I am still walking the earth, I guess I got some splaining to do.

I have a natural aversion to anyone…or any group of people…with an abundance of assurance. Possibly a  projection of my innate insecurity or self-doubt, but I just don’t command an absolute sense of assurance with regards to much of anything. It doesn’t stop me from trying things though. And it hasn’t stopped me from being successful. I am no nail biting, emotional cripple who can’t tie her own shoes. Far from it. I’m just not a chest thumping braggart. It takes a colossal amount of arrogance to proclaim on a Twitter feed that you’ll no longer be on this fine planet for Sunday school because the Creator and Master of the Universe WILL draw you up into Heaven….straight into heaven. That you are so pure and so perfect, you bypass Judgement. I sometimes wonder if God has a black and morbid sense of humor. That on a ‘bad day’ in Heaven, he amuses himself by leading fools like Harold astray just to watch them flame out. Yeah know, just to teach Harold a lesson for being so bloody arrogant. I wonder if Harold has his Epiphany at 6:01, surrounded by his followers. How much humble pie and black crow must you eat at that moment?

I doubt any Judge that is considering my entree into Everlasting Peace will accept my declaration of Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior and my affirmation that he died on the Cross for my sins….when just last week, nay just 72 hours ago….I had venomous, bilious, rancid contempt towards another person.

I am pretty sure He’d be asking me, “Now Lisa, did you forget that part I said about loving thy neighbor? Did you think I meant to exclude the idiot sloth at the Kangaroo Express gas station?”

“No Lord, but he was such a dick!”

“Yes, child. I put the dicks on the planet to test you. You have to love through their asshat, jerk wad ways. Kitties, puppies and babies are easy to love. I gave Jesus the Cross and you can’t be civil to the clerk when you fill up?”

So, on this day, the first day after the supposed end of the world….I can tell you the things I know.

  • Love is a paradox. It is a fragile, brittle thing that can withstand grueling abuse.
  • My heart can change; I can change. Since my creation, I have remained perpetually in motion, constantly changing. My cells divide. I am never the exact same person from one second to another. This means I can change how I think, feel and react to things.
  • Assurance, certainty and absolutes impede. They are barriers to wisdom. If you already know it and have it mastered, then you close off any chance of learning more.
  • Humility, doubt and relativity impede. They are barriers, too. Paralysis and hesitation prevent learning, growth and end in missed opportunities.


This life demands acceptance. I must accept this life, commit to it and be HERE….especially if I want to get THERE.

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