Dawdle

Here are some other stones I found.

In the Isle of Skye, photos of snow at the seaside. Lovely. And I had to Google Isle of Skye. I knew by the time stamp on the pictures it had to be England….Scotland to be precise.

A poem that flashed into a full sentence, an idea. To miss someone, time ticking while they are away. I thought…If I stop winding the clock can I forget?

And then a prompt for poetry within the Small Stones post, I am reminded of the microcosm of Horton. But the prompt to think about feet….my feet. I have very similar gratitude for my feet as Kelly. Read her poem here.

I like this blog site based purely on its name: Borderline Unfriendly. So perfect!

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OK, now that I twiddled and dawdled away an hour, leisurely browsing through all the other stones in the River of Stones posts for the day, I feel more clearheaded and inspired. I also must admit I am a bit of a voyeur. I feel sneaky and snoopy, rummaging through peoples websites and blogsites. I like the infatuation I have when I find someone clever or provocative. I also have no shame being a copycat. Imitation is a truly sincere form of flattery. I am off to fold the brigade of laundry baskets, make my bed, clean off my desk, finish the binding on Cameron’s quilt, cut the fabric for the Valentine’s day pillowcases and sit my ass down and edit THREE chapters of the novel.

Why am I avoiding it? Where is my aversion? I like my main character, Grace Franklin Pierce. She is strong and authentic, even if she gets dealt a deck of shitty circumstances. And she prevails. So why do I avoid her? I think I know…her story is finished. She got her good ending….she survived and thrived and the story ends on a hopeful note with a gift…..I want her ending. I want this chapter in my life done. I want to close this and be done. I want all the bad stuff to wrap up tidy and be over. I want to stop having to gear up and defend myself. If I wanted to fight, keep fighting, I wouldn’t have left.

And like Grace, I can work with my story not all being “good” or in “in my favor”. I can adjust to adversity and disappointment. I just want closure. And so…I envy her…maybe resent her….she got her ending. I am ready for mine.