Skip to content

Calendar

December 2010
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Nov   Jan »

Archives

  • March 2022
  • January 2022
  • November 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • December 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • March 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • October 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • August 2017
  • June 2017
  • April 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • November 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007

Categories

  • Just Thinking
Realisa~ Living an authentic life

No and Yes

December 18, 2010UncategorizedLisa Standard

As a mom, so much of child rearing is telling my sons no. And as any parent can attest, we say no ALOT. One of our favorite kids songs is this song, No Means No. No, don’t eat the cat’s food. No, you can’t eat Halloween candy for breakfast. No, you can’t skip bathing for three days. No, you can’t. As they get older, my no becomes a petition or request. Don’t drink so much Coke. Don’t let girls draw all over your jeans with Sharpie markers. Don’t let me catch you downloading porn. (But if you do, make sure you run your spyware and malware programs regularly so you don’t crash the really expensive computer I bought you for your birthday…with that great graphics driver for playing online games…and apparently watching porn).

Eventually, we say no out of a lame sense of hopefulness that they won’t do that thing….that we know they are going to do….We say no like a parental disclaimer, the fine print warnings about side effects, adverse outcomes and lethality. No drink. Don’t smoke. Don’t do drugs. Don’t gauge your ears or get a tattoo. Don’t get in a car with someone who has been drinking. Don’t have sex.

We hear no so much that by the time we are adults, we say No! to ourselves. We pick up the torch and run the No! track in our heads like sitcoms use the laugh track.

What happens when we say yes? Clive Owens did this lovely, wonderful movie The Boys Are Back. It will break your heart but it will reveal how powerfully healing and restorative saying YES! can be when you are lost. Saying yes shifts everything.

Saying yes is really difficult. Unless we had totally iconoclastic, hippie parents, saying yes goes against all of our programming. Saying yes feels subversive, rebellious, dangerous. Yes, you can eat apple pie for breakfast , or chocolate cake, or cold leftover pizza (when you are ten years old). Yes, you can hang out in your pajamas ALL day because where are we going today? Nowhere!  Yes, you can wear purple and orange together at the same time. Yes, you can climb that tree. Yes, we can have breakfast for dinner. Yes, you can study medicine. Yes, you can be an artist. Yes, you can be the boss. Yes you can do this. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

And while our national debates seems to revolve around whether we can or can’t do something, I feel like it  boils down to parents wagging their fingers, scowling and say no, no, no because we MIGHT fail or get hurt or make things worse off. Just stay put, be content. Why can’t you be thankful for with what you have? Why rock the boat? Why, indeed?

You rock it because you are naturally curious. You’re adventurous. You want to explore and experiment. You want to invent something new, read something new, eat something new. Learn something new. You want to grow and discover and expand. Yes is the only way to those experiences. No means you accept ONLY what you already have and no more; you actually must DENY things because it is part of the human spirit to be nomadic. We want to roam. Saying yes means that you accept the risk. It means you are free to find new things, but also free from the fear of losing what you already have. Yes is a gamble. Yes is risky. But yes is the only path with the potential for dividends. Stuffing money into a mattress means you will have dollar for dollar what you put away. Taking SOME of that money and being a bit risky means you might have less cash but be rich with experience. Or….you might be rich with experience and not lose a dime.

I like saying yes. I like breaking the rules of our culture and being a tiny anarchist. Yes, means you deny the chorus of anxious, fearful worrywarts who secretly covet your moxie but can’t leave their Laz-e-boys to do it themselves. And they love to mock and ridicule when your fail. “Well, who did she think she was? She’s just a little big her her britches, ain’t she? She is just so selfish, can you believe her?”

Fearlessness is different than foolishness. Willingness to take risks is different than recklessness. Confidence is different than conceit. Being assured is different than being delusional. I think about all the people in that said yes or who almost got stopped because of the chorus of NO! Moses wrestled with no. No, they won’t follow you. Noah and that stupid ass boat. He was certainly a fool, right? Martin Luther King is crazy if her thinks white people will fight for black people’s rights to be considered equals.  Jesus was a madman, too. The rabbis and the elders were constantly wagging their fingers and tsk tsk tsking. Who does he think he is, breaking all the rules. You CAN’T DO THAT! And Jesus was one of the few with a Father that was saying YES! Yes to love, yes to risk, yes even in the face of death.

You may also like

Glory and the gloriosa lily

A few new discoveries

Little Words

Tags: Satisfactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Archives

  • March 2022
  • January 2022
  • November 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • December 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • March 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • October 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • August 2017
  • June 2017
  • April 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • November 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007

Calendar

December 2010
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Nov   Jan »

Categories

  • Just Thinking

Home flowers

Butterfly museum
Gerber daisy
100_0444
20200602_175208

Copyright Realisa 2022 | Theme by ThemeinProgress | Proudly powered by WordPress