What are you thinking?

I was once quite curious and I would ask people, “What are you thinking?” It was a naive and impulsive thing to ask. I remember being first married and asking Paul at random moments, “What are you thinking?” I am sure it feels like a trick question. I asked it alot. I really wanted to know what people were thinking. Honestly, I think I was asking them what they were FEELING. I have this curiosity about what makes people tick, what compels them, why do we each do what we do? I am certain if I knew WHY I do a certain thing, then I can learn how to do it differently or better. I spoke with my sister today and she and I share so much of the same responses to other people. We have similar anticipations, similar expectations, similar desires in that we want to understand WHY. The truth as to why people say what they do, why they act the way they do….must come from how they FEEL and not how they THINK. I make critical judgements about what car to buy. I THINK about what laundry detergent to use. Those decisions are based on facts. But, I speak to my children, I select my dinner menu, I pick my outfit for the day based on how I feel. I am fairly certain other people make decisions from their emotional center. Slowly, over time, I learned to stop asking what other people were thinking. Was it because I had lost a true idea of my own emotional center? Was I too grounded in my rational self to absorb their feelings? Or, are other people unaware of their emotions and unable to express themselves? Emotions are based on internal parameters. Thoughts are based on external sources. Emotions require a reveal, the divulging of segments of ourselves. Some people cannot spare a dime from their emotional bank, and withold. Other people’s emotions can be a deluge, drowning you in their flood.

I am now at a place when I am again curious about what people are “thinking” and how their thoughts make them FEEL.

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