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Brink

Funny how life can hinge on one thing, or be unhinged by one thing. For all the things we anticipate, for all our contingency plans and preparation, what finally nails us is never the obvious. We’ve planned for the obvious. It’s the Achilles heel, the tiny pinch of a spot that you knew with certainty was insignificant…too mundane or tiny to need defense. But isn’t that the point of egress for the stealth operative? When trying to assault the underground bunker, you don’t dynamite the front entrance, you crawl through the sewer drains. Who posts a guard at the bilge pump?

The boys and I saw the Green Lantern yesterday. I am either overly analyzing or lacking for intellectual  discourse, because I thought there were profound issues embedded in this movie. Who says comic books and graphic novels can’t tackle the moral and ethical quandaries of human existence?

Hal Jordan elects to take the unpredictable….and irrational  tactic….to beat a pair of AI prototype fighter jets. The move defeats the unbeatable jets. It is the rare mind that takes the unfavorable and foreign path….sacrifice your wing man and head directly towards the one place you know you will fail because it is in the known, expectation of failure (equipment failure) that you might beat the enemy and save your own life. And Hal makes several of these bonehead or illogical decisions: give the ring to the evil villain, fly into the face of the sun…you get the picture. Then there is this idea that regardless of your external appearance: golden boy test pilot vs anemic, peculiar science teacher…..if you feel discarded, abandoned or rejected….the wound is the same. So why does Hector become evil and Hal the hero? Hal doesn’t see himself any different than Hector. He (naively) believes Hector can just chose differently. Hal does have a better facade. He has a better costume. More so, Hector has no costume. His ‘disguise’ is the gross disfigurement cause by the metastasis of envy, covetousness, bitterness, resentment and anger.Oh…those deadly sins…..

And that is the fine silken thread of a message, right? Everyone’s path is unique. How you use your willpower is autonomous. The collective will of the universe and all living things combines to create and sustain…but my will is my own. My willpower is limited only by my own boundaries. If I give into fear I shackle myself. These choices we make are not relative….but they are individualized and unique. We are not interchangeable cogs in a machine. Otherwise Hector and Hal could be swapped out and the same outcome obtained.

Is my will strong enough to defeat chaos and fear? Do not confuse our hunkering under our shields as cowering. It is the momentary respite within which we gather our strength, tighten our focus and harness our inner willpower. Fret begets worry. Worry cultivates anxiety. Anxiety is the antechamber to fear. And fear is the gaping maw of oblivion. Fear consumes and decimates. And sometimes…pushing me to the brink of my fear is EXACTLY how you get me to stop being afraid.

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