I’ve missed a few days of writing but the gratitude still abounds. We had our first dip of cold weather which cannot compare to northern winter but for us, can damage potted plants, tender perennials and my vegetable garden. The wind has laid down and that helps. And last night the boys came home. We are such a good team. They are so helpful and we have such fun together. My oldest jokes that he fears what his future girlfriend might say in commentary about our humor and critical observations. He then concludes that her comfort amidst our humor will be a good indicator of whether she’s a “keeper”. He is like me in many ways except one. I do not foresee him ever willingly and actively compromising his identity to fit better into society. Honestly, he’s said, “This is just who I am and I wouldn’t know how to fold up.” He knows this makes him slightly incongruous among his peers at times and it does make him unhappy at times but he doesn’t try to change himself to fit better. He says, “What for? It wouldn’t make me any happier.” I think I’ve taught him to one ultimate lesson that has taken me most of my adult life to learn. Be courageous and just be yourself. LIKE yourself and there will be people who really, truly like you. If you try to fold up and fit in so that you are more ‘appealing’ to other people’s sensibilities, you will rob yourself. And you feel like a fraud.
I am grateful that somehow I’ve managed to teach or model or convey to my son(s?) the importance of being true to yourself FIRST and then seeking friends and connections.