A friend recently posted to their Facebook status a quote I paraphrase, “Dreaming about the person you wish to be wastes the person you are.” Something in that philosophy catches for me. Are we to work at simply being content with who we are and abandon the notion that we may be more. If I am, at this moment, all that I am to be because I should stop dreaming, then I face decades of being increasingly discontent. I am not ALL that I could be, nor am I ALL that I should be. I should be kinder. I should embody my faith more. I should be more generous, and forgiving. I could be healthier. I could be more patient. I could be learning more or new things. If I accept the idea that dreams only waste time, I am sadden and the future looks dreary.
I think it is a balance of both things. I strive to accept and be content with who I am NOW and my lot in life. It requires gratitude and humility. I also look towards a time when I am more of the things I what to be. Time is how you reprogram and relearn…or unlearn those conditioned responses. Time and insight is how we are no longer triggered by a tone of voice or a slighting comment. Time and a liberal dream life. When we lose the idealism and hopefulness we once had as children, when we discount everything before it is ever tried, then we are already old and our life is spent. You do not have to have watched 80 birthdays pass to feel old. If their is no desire for further or farther, if we accept a life of captivity when their is no cage, when we limit our range and restrict ourselves out of fear or doubt, then we are already old. I do not wish to be young again. I am grateful for the time that has passed and the life lessons I have learned, but I am no where near done. I am not done growing or trying new things or exploring my abilities. I do not think I waste myself by dreaming of more of me. I spent much of my lifetime up to this point thinking I was too much. It is a wonderful possibility to consider a world where I am smaller and can grow even more.