Blocked

Well, I am officially blocked. Writer’s block. Actually, it is thinking block. I just can’t think straight. I suppose this is the remnant of my attention disorder. Usually, I am hyperfocused. Lately, I am unfocused. Even my eyes have refused to focus without strain and effort.

I have wanted Realisa to be a place I could write about the things that bring me joy. I wanted to explore the happiness and the bliss. I want to reveal myslef and my thoughts in a way that actually helped me to better understand myself. It was about connections. It has been about connecting back to myself. Along the way, maybe other people were provoked or entertained or touched. I actually have no idea. I only have about 4 registered readers. I have no clue who reads Realisa.

This week is the 1 year anniversary of this site. It has been a blessing for me personally. I found a modicum of sanity. I found a remnant of my core self. I found fertile ground to plant myself. I think I have grown. I know I have learned. I have found a voice. I blossomed. Like a little mustard seed, it is now a big mustard plant. I like mustard.

Anyways. I am sad to admit, I have writer’s block. Nothing to be jazzed about. Nothing to wax philosophical. I has misplaced my Umph! I am going to step away for a little bit….I feel like I am trying to force it. Maybe it will click tomorrow. Maybe longer. All I know is that STRIVING is not beautiful. My desire is to avoid feeling contrived. Realisa is a natural world. Organic.

When life offers me something blessed or inspirational, I may find I have a voice again. This is to be a happier place. Not a rant. Not a vitriol. Not a diatribe. So, I wait for the joy.

I wait. Pray that I will hear the Whisper.