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Audacity

Some days, life is full of friction. Some days, every step, every thought, is a push, requires energy. Some days, nothing is ease. Some days there is no choice but to be still. Doing is nigh impossible. For all I do, these days are painful. For I must DO. I am a Doer. I do things. I do a lot. ALOT. I like a lot of things. I have many responsibilities. I have many interests. I elect to have a long list of things I DO. Have to do. Need to do. Want to do. I get it. I made this bed. It’s mine to lie in. I got it. This leaves no room for complaints, no room for consideration. I asked for this.

Being left with no viable choice, no option and all avenues rife with friction…I am immobilized. I am laid still. Unable to think, to imagine, to chose. But, I cannot ignore the chattering of the Things Needing Doing.

I pull back up. I honestly have no choice. I have a business. I have work. I have people. I am the engine that runs it all. It is all on me. No back up. No safety net. No options.

What makes me hit the wall? Audacity. Usually, I think audacity is a good thing, a noble trait that enables one to reach higher, dream bigger, see farther. But occasionally, audacity unravels me especially when it comes from an unexpected, unusual, unanticipated source. Audacity from that most unexpected place, that place least expected.

Impropriety is a pet peeve. A huge pet peeve. It’s why I am stunned by this audacity. You know, when someone asks something of you that is so outrageous, so unbelievable, so……audacious as to reduce everything to that paralyzing stunned silence.

That is…until I get angry, until I find my indignation. And then I find my voice…and I find my answer.

No. The answer is no. Until I find the strength to SAY no, I am immobilized from DOING anything else. It’s like anesthesia. I am slowed until I find my center, my balance. But within that equilibrium arises my answer to the outrageous audacious request. No.

No. A thousand times NO. And now, I can go DO some of the things I need to DO today.

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