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Seeking

Just because I manage change doesn’t mean I like it. In the span of few weeks, it has been finalized that my son is going away to college and my best friend is moving away. They are really both good things, necessary things and as a mother and a friend, I am excited to send my first born off to college. I am equally thankful that my best friend’s husband has gotten a fantastic dream offer despite a horrible economy. It means she moves away to the mountains. It just so happens she is also my office manager and office wife. It is a great deal of change and I shall have to adjust. I have been prepared for these changes. I knew my son would leave for college. In the years since the divorce there has been a weekly separation, where he and his brother sleep away from me and I alone reside under my roof. It has been a progressive ebbing away toward this point when he leaves for long stretches as a time. One day, he will have his own home, his own world. The same with my friend. While I call her my best friend, she has a few super best friends that she had far longer that me and with whom she has a much deeper history, but for me – it is a relationship nearly as long as my marriage, especially since I have worked every day with her for 8 hours every day for 15 years. I definitely spent more time with her than my marriage. I think she knows me better than anyone on this planet. And I shall have two large vacancies in my world that I believe shall remain unfilled and unoccupied. It has been a week of loss, a week of learning that people leave and it has left me quiet and introspective about what I seek in my future, with whom I want to seek it.

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