Easter morning brought me a minor miracle. I woke with a profoundly moribund mood. I was quite miserable. I couldn’t image getting up, much less making ready for Easter Sunday mass. I just didn’t have an ounce of energy (physical or emotional) to face the smallest task. I managed to get myself onto the back porch with a cup of coffee only to find the same dreary, drizzling rain as yesterday. Plus, it had gotten colder. My sadness was gobbling up the atmosphere, amplified by the cloudy, gray skies and damp cold. So what that it was Easter. What was the point?
Somehow, some way I got up. I got the boys up. I ironed our clothes and tried not to beat myself up too much for not having a new dress for Easter Sunday. Does God really care if I am in a new dress? Or if my toe nails are painted an appropriate Easter egg color. I am slipping off my usual coordinated self. And I was not winning points with any of the judges. I asked Cameron to drive and instead of him playing his usual Pandora, he turned on NPR. We caught a small segment of Bob Edward’s Weekend and an interview with Sheila Heen and Doug Stone about their book, Thanks for the Feedback.
It was providence. That I got up and into the car and headed to 11:15 mass. It was divine intervention that Cam turned on the radio. For in those 20 minutes of radio jabber, I HEARD something. And it was profound. It was powerful enough to crack through the encasement that has been forming around me over the last few weeks. Getting to mass and singing, hearing the Word, receiving Communion….the cracks expanded. We laughed on the way home. We thanked God for the Jews and their love (and need) of bagels even on Easter Sunday. We stopped at Bageland and got bagels for brunch.
It was a start. It helped immensely. We watched a few episodes of Battlestar Galactica. I put a small lamb loin in the crock pot and it’s almost ready. The boys eat from their Easter baskets. The Younger worked on his English paper. I washed laundry and piled it all up on the dining room table. It’s not folded. I am not yet back on my game. Maybe I’ll fold it tomorrow.