The universe offers points of conversion. Ever have One of Those Days? My friend, newly relocated from Cali to Tejas posts to her Facebook status yesterday that she was having One of Those Days. My Writeful friend posted about her similar state of mind. She wonderfully called it a Hateful-rainy-day-stay-out-of-my-way-bad-spiral-day. She offered tactics to combat the Bad Spiral Day, methods to subvert. I agreed with them all. I wanted to post to my FB friend that a sure fire antedote to her hard day was pancakes. It was my first thought…..”Let’s go eat eat pancakes.” Then I remembered that flour and gluten in any permutation is evil incarnate for her…..so I offered the next best thing. Bacon. Bacon is love. It may sound wicked and demented but what better way to honor the sweet, adorable piggy than by smoking it and eating it. Yum Yum! And bacon is THE reason I doubt ever being able to be a vegetarian. Seriously. Bacon….not ham…..bacon is by far the best additive. I think warm German Potato salad with fresh dill, thinned skinned red potatoes and bacon. I think pasta carbonara with crispy prosciutto. Who can beat a stack of pan fried bacon, crispy iceberg lettuce, a thin slice of purple onion, a dripping slice of beefsteak tomato on puffy whitebread with cheap yellow mustard and ketchup. I make no apologies for the Heinz, so back off. When I eat breakfast toast…I prefer some thick slice of sourdough with soft REAL butter topped with one of my homemade jams and two or three slices of crumbled bacon. Skip the egg. Pour the coffee.
I am being silly. Of course, bacon doesn’t solve all problems. Food doesn’t solve problems. It’s not a matter of solution, it’s a matter of weathering. How do you make it through One of Those Days? The consensus is to simply hold on and rough it. It passes soon enough. It never lasts forever. The key is to not wake the next day looking at the underside of your toilet bowl. And for me…..bacon is a superpower. I can eat a pound block of chocolate. And I’m a welterweight with alcohol and no fan of the next morning headache. I can’t eat a pound of bacon….it has this saturation point. It is like chemical that binds to every neurotransmitter receptor in my brain with just a few slices. And then I am happy. With an HDL higher than my LDL, I can eat bacon every day if I wish. But I don’t. It’s my ace in the hole for One of Those Days. Marie Antoinette had it wrong…..cake won’t do…we need bacon.