Post Format

Stillness

The seasons are c hanging. It is a subtle thing, imperceptible to anyone not native to Florida. The light and shadows shift fractionally and the change is easy to miss. It makes me aware of time and its passing. I fight melancholia today and use superstitious methods to break through the blues. Superstitious behaviors from my childhood were like not stepping on cracks in the sidewalk, lifting your feet off the floorboard of the car when you go over railroad tracks, whistling as you walk past a graveyard or holding your breath over a bridge….I have my own little tricks to steel away from the doldrums as a adult. I wonder what other people do? For me it is best to keep busy. Idle hands means an idle mind. And my mind is a dangerous place when left to ruminate. These are some of the ways:

1. Organize: I empty drawers and closets and refold and reorder. I make bags for the Goodwill drop box. I do my stack of filing. I add new labels for new folders for new things I must retain in my personal records. I empty the junk drawers and put away in all their proper places the piles of clutter around my house. I tackle the boys rooms and closets and dresser drawers. My OCD is showing….

2. Clean: I empty the fridge and clean all the shelves. I iron all my clothes..a feat considering all the cotton and linen I wear. I clean the oven or the toaster. I wash the windows and screens.

3. Listen: I make a new playlist of songs. I download something new. I get a new book from Audible and play it loudly so I can have the company while I do # 1 or #2.

4. Lists: I make lists of all the shit running through my head. Lists for today, tomorrow, this week. Project lists. Call back lists. Wish lists. Shit lists…that list of tasks you actively avoid.

5. Dirt: when I had a yard and a garden, I would dig in the dirt. Not having a yard or flower beds or a garden hinders one of the ways I could escape and avoid this feeling. It also means I do not have the beauty and the renewal my heart so loves. No caladiums. No lilies. No flowering shrubs. I miss my gardens.

6. Napping: Under the covers, pants off, darkened room naps in the middle of the afternoon.But just a nap. It is not sleeping the day away.

7. Crafty: I get out some craft project. I make something with paper or rubber stamps or my Cricket.

8. Letters: I write a letter to a friend on real stationary.

9. Bake: Baking something that takes several steps is best. Bread is ideal.

If I can just busy myself for a few hours or half a day, the day ends and the feeling usually passes. It is just a matter of weathering it and being patient….but not still. Still is not wise.

Share

Leave a Reply

Required fields are marked *.