What I have racing around in my head this morning and what I need to get out of my head this morning is probably not what I should be writing about this morning. This morning I need to visualize butterflies and kitties and tranquil, placid lakes. Instead, my head is filled with aluminum bats, smashing pumpkins and pickle aisles.
There are events, that when they occur, you really have no reason to be or act surprised. Often, you make your inquiry knowing the answer that is coming. Maybe you only have a sinking intuition; but, chances are, your ability to sense adversity and bad news has been honed to a finely tuned instrument. You ask and cringe, gird your loins and wait for the answer. And when it comes you simply can’t be outraged….not for long…because you kinda, sorta already knew it. You knew it because you are paying attention while the people hired or assigned to be paying attention have to be prompted to check up on things.
Do I have to wake 30 seconds earlier than my alarm clock to tell it to sound and wake me up? Somethings are simply supposed to happen because that is there ONLY FUNCTION. How does it become my responsibility to make sure the alarm clock goes off to wake me beyond setting the time and plugging it into the socket? An occasional power outage is unforeseeable. Leaving the alarm OFF after a weekend…all my fault. But…..99% of the time, it is the alarm clock’s JOB to go off and wake me up. Now, I don’t expect my doctor to prompt me to come in for my check up or my hair dresser to get a cut? And when I am in the chair, it is not my job to tell her how to cut my hair. I TRUST HER to do her job. I don’t know how to cut hair. Could I learn? I could but I think I have enough to do that I am very cool paying her $45 to cut my hair. And I don’t think I should have to remind her to cut BOTH sides of my head. Really? Isn’t a hair cut……all the hair?
So today, I try to imagine cute babies and sunflowers and puppies. And I will stand my ground and not feel absurd or ridiculous for expecting people to do the job for which they were hired. And I will not consider that I am being harsh in my anger when their failure to do their job has significant impact on me personally….and had I not reminded them to “cut the other side of my hair”….it seems as if it would NEVER HAVE DONNED ON THEM that this is not the fashion statement for which I was aiming.
Okay……so the kitties and puppies are not working.