When a day starts in the doldrums and painfully drifts into a torrential rainstorm fraught with hail, turbulence and simple and plain fear how to you get out of it? A massive amount of energy is expended trying to get clear, energy that the storm consumes, ineffectual energy. While studying about tornadoes and hurricanes yesterday, I was reminded that if I am ever caught outside as a tornado approaches, I should lie flat on the ground, preferably in a low lying ditch. There is no buttressing against a tornado. You hunker down and pray for a swift passage.
Today was such a day. Something about the sun setting indicates that it has passed. Day is done. Gone the sun. And I can see a new day tomorrow. So, I let the remnants of the day go. I took a deep breath. I ate dinner with my sister and our boys. I tried not to think about the things that weighed heavily on me today. I let go of my grief.
Tomorrow, I will wake. I will make coffee. I will set something to baking in the oven. I will write until the boys wake. Evan and I will go to the Haile Farmer’s market. Cam will sleep late. I may try to finish my quilt. It can be a lazy day with no real agenda. No objective other than being with my kids or just being around them. The rhythm of my life shifts when the guys are around, a syncopation that varies to their presence. We have a Great Courses audio on Jazz we could listen to. We could lie in the grass out front and watch the birds.
We are hoping to scoot to Mass at 5pm, get our palms and catch a movie. How to Train a Dragon. I can already feel the clouds passing and the sky lightening up.