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Elude

Sleep is elusive. Children resist it, adults crave it. It cannot be bought or sold. Despite all the pills and marketing, it can’t be swallowed or induced. Poor sleep has impact. Chronic poor sleep amplifies that negative impact. Good sleep is simply perfect. To fall asleep easily is a blessing. Last night I laid my head on my pillow at 11:44pm. Something woke me at 11:51PM and I had already been sound asleep. I slept until 5:40. It was a deep, sound, restful sleep, albeit too short. Once awake, I often cannot get back to sleep. My mind shifts into gear. Like a mainframe coming online, I get booted up and shutting down again is not so easy. So, I get up. I write, I read, I do a few emails. The early morning hours are tender. There is a hopefulness to a new day. The end of a day and the last remnants of a day’s work is how we go to bed. We wake with a freshness and a clean slate. I can try again. I can start anew. Today will be a good day simply in its newness. And sleep slides away, elusive and mysterious. I am often resistant to GOING to sleep. I just don’t go to bed. I know that the minute my head is laid down, I will be out. At the ending of a day, I am still left with my list of things unfinished. Giving into sleep means I admit I failed to complete what was necessary (or what I thought was necessary). The key is to make a smaller list, so that at the end of the day….the day is done.

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