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Niche

Over the course of a life, bonds are formed. The nature of human existence is to aggregate and form social structures. It was the horrifying thing about being stranded on a remote, postage stamp island. A tattered volleyball can never replace the organic presence of another living soul. Even pets cannot fill the space that is designed for human occupancy. We seek and desire connections. To be known and seen and recognized is the deepest most fundamental component.

Time passes and people, like grains of sand, can slip away, lost to the sea of multitudes. Time can wither and fade so much and the connections we once felt to others becomes brittle or threadbare or merely evaporates. How can one reconcile that loss? Moreover, why is it that out of the blue, like the toll of a distant bell, are we reminded of someone from long ago? How can a memory be so fresh and so palpable? It is as if they sit beside us and speak in that whispered voice, they laugh with abandon, their face is illuminated with joy and their scent pervades. Oh, to have a looking glass so as to scry into the life of one long ago lost and be assured that they are well, happy, content, healthy and bound to others in a fulfilling way. I want most of all to know that those I once loved are now loved by others, that they are connected and known. Did they find their niche like the verdant moss that thrives in the cracks and crags despite rocky soil or limited sun? I wish to know that those I still hold dear in my heart are well.

It is not a desire for reconnection but more like a roll call. I can quiet my heart just knowing that they are well and good in this world. It feels selfish and intrusive to bound into another’s world simply for reassurance. Faith is such that we trust the universe to provide.

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