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Look Both Ways

Sometimes we want something so badly we project it. We wish it so. The professionals call this delusional but each of us can fall victim to dreams so far fetched they seem possible even when an impossibility. The desire can be so fierce it makes us covet or envy or lust. We sacrifice our better selves to the baser cravings. Is it better to be measured in our endeavors? Or should life permit indulgences and impulsivity? And is all desire sub par?

I think in our heart of hearts there is a knowledge of that which feeds our soul. We desire God, a benevolent creator. For any who have walked the Stations of the Cross, the passion and suffering of Christ and his believers is palpable, visceral. As a mother, there are moments…many moments…when I look upon my children and my heart aches with love for them. I appreciate them and cherish them. It is my true and greatest honor to have been blessed with them in my life. Sometimes we desire a goal, an aspiration. We wish to be “something” and our whole life’s energy is focused on that thing. One of the loveliest things about my best friend’s husband is that as a small boy, when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up…he said…a father. Somepeople want to play the piano passionately. Some people want to be astronauts or swim the English Channel. Our passions are wide and varied.

Unfortunately, we can be disappointed. Oft times, our desires and dreams run counter to life’s plan for us. We step into the fray with our dream visions….or delusions…and get simply clobbered. Like stepping off the curb in Manhattan traffic…..WHAMMO! All we could see were our dreams across the boulevard. We never saw the Mack truck plow us down. I just hope the Mack truck gets me good instead of leaving me broken and disfigured. Better to be gone from this place than be truly trapped in a body too broken to move. For me, dreams that reside only in my mind are delusions. It is the in vivo transformation in this real world that validates my passion.

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