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Fascination

I am visiting my friend. She lives in a suburb of one of America’s largest cities. She has an amazing marraige and 4 spectacular kids. Her oldest son is my godson and we share the same birthday. I have been given the priviledge of being welcomed into the simple daily life she leads. I have walked with her and her kids to school in the morning and then picked them up in the afternoon. She has an abundance of friends, all mothers, all whom stay home and manage their homes and tend to their kids. It is an amazing place. She seems so at peace. I am fascianted with this place.

The revelation hit me that I would never fit here. She loves me and we have been friends for more than 20 years, but I am an alien to this world. I am unsure if I could even function or survive in this world. I have never had a circle of friends, especially women freinds. I feel awkward and self-conscious. NO amount of education can prepare you for the truly sacred task of managing your families day to day life. And she does it with finesse. I am fortunate to have a spouse that does so much to manage our family’s day to day routine. We share the responsibility of managing our family. Being here has made me feel like I SHOULD be doing more. I feel like my priorities are messed up. Indeed, I am a doctor. I take care of some very ill and infirmed people, but ultimately, do I care for my own family as I should? I don’t know.

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